Nothing like a New Hair Cut

I think I am honestly just trying to figure out how to live my best life. And I want to believe that setting intentions and monitoring goals will help, the books I keep reading at least make it seem like that's possible.

We went a a short trip to Wyoming a few weeks ago, our first since COVID, which is amazing because we normally at least go on a weekend trip every month. It's a big part of our life satisfaction (and one of the reasons we decided to not have kids). And since we got back I have been getting a ton of little things, or a few of the big things that have been on my To-Do list for a long time.

May was a struggle at our house, we drank a bit more than normal, and decided that we would keep a gratitude calendar together. We just recorded how we were feeling every night (or ever two or three days but it was important to try to do it that day or the next so it was fresh in our minds and close to accurate). I think we just wanted to see better how we were doing, and even though we did still drink (and on occasion too much) we had twenty-one days without drinking and a month of data!

Maybe you're not a geek for data like we are but I think it helped me to see how green our Sundays were compared to our Fridays or mostly yellow Wednesdays. And for me it helped to track without judgement how hungry I am. Since starting to teach I have gained forty pounds (I've been this heavy before so it was very hard to gain back all the weight I lost in my late twenties) but I have come to understand that when I ignore things in my life instead of trying to address them, I eat my feelings. So, Bye-Bye July is about counting calories and trying to say good-bye to over eating and a little weight.

I would say Bye-Bye July was also to stop spending so much money, especially ordering things online, as that has been a little out of control with COVID too. I am also trying to write down the things I keep thinking about getting done, whether it's getting the bicycle tires aired up, or finishing the almost year long project on the basement. Also, things I do for my wife and our home, or for my job and school, or for myself and health.

And I would have to say that it has been helpful to see the things I want/ think I need to do, and to prioritize them based on how passionate I am about it or how much contribution it adds to my life. I'm still working this out but I can see a number of things I've already gotten done in the last ten days that I might not have gotten done if it wasn't on my mind like this.

I know that a haircut can seem like a silly thing to make someone feel better but it can make the difference between holding your head up high and hiding behind a hat. Not only did I get my hair done this last week but I also smashed a dozen other challenges I have been procrastinating. 

One thing I have to say I am super proud about finishing was the Paris scrapbook. Everytime I worked on this project I enjoyed myself but I went long stretches without working on it because it was a bit overwhelming and it took a lot of time. I had to go to the store one more time today (I was short six scrapbook pages and photo tape for ten pictures! but I also needed to be the scrapbook itself, so I had to go anyway). But after 21 months it is finally finished and I am super pleased about that!

Kaleidoscope of a Journal

As I think about my role as a teacher I wonder what the point of learning to write... The main reason I can think of is that it helps us express ourselves. Writing is the output of the self, where reading is the input of other. So how do you make writing practice something that a student wants to engage in? 

I do not believe it is the Five Paragraph Essay.

Sorry, not sorry.

I think someone wants to know how to craft an argument or informational or opinion piece of writing into a Five Paragraph framework only when they are already engaging in writing. And I think the journal, however that is defined by the student or creator, is the starting place...

But there are a lot of steps I'm still missing.

As you have seen, I use the journal as a place to keep notes from the books I'm reading in addition to my thoughts or story ideas (or my to-do lists). Another way to add notes is to take the book itself and turn it into an art installation. 

So I think the effect

in the end is both

and a

pretty

record.

of my thoughts

These are some

and keepsakes

A way to practice

and frustrations.

before committing to email.

Journal pages from The Leader You Want to Be...

One of the things I have been working on with my journal is to take notes from the books I read. People who know me know how much I love the library, so sometimes I will read a book that has a lot of great information in it. On occasion, I will break down and buy the book but more likely I will just copy the notes I found important in my journals.

A tip I picked up along the way is to use a sticky note on the edge of the page to mark where the notes are so I can go back and reference it more easily.

Sometimes I try something fancy and it doesn't work out...

And sometimes I can correct some mistakes. I remember years ago when I was a teenager, working at the bookstore and I was writing up an order for a customer and I wrote something wrong. As I wrote over it to correct it, I remember he made a huff and said something to the effect of needing to start over. But then, when I finished he had to actually concede I did a good job of writing over it. It's something that has always made me feel a little proud of myself.

Notes from "The Curse of the Good Girl"

I love using the library, and normally the notes I want to take can be copied easily into my journal. But every now and then I find a book that I want to reference again and again. While reading this book I was struck by how much, as a 38 year-old woman, I needed to hear some of these things.

So, I bought a copy and moved all my notes over. Now, a few months ago I had a daydream of doing more than just this blog to share this message but as time has slipped away and I've done nothing with that dream I've decided to at least do this post. Maybe in the future when I reread this book I will do a podcast or a read aloud or Ted Talk but until I figure that out I wanted to share at least this much.

I like the idea that the skills in this book need to be taught and practiced just like anything else...

The message that in the Good Girl culture we avoid conflict because it can damage the relationship is pretty important to understand, but men don't necessarily act like this. You can tell someone that something that is important to you without it damaging the relationship (or at least it shouldn't, it will take a while for even the woman you talk to learns to accept that a criticism of an action is not a put down of the person, necessarily.)

I want to teach this more specifically to students, thinking about how to make this into a learning opportunity.

I see this, and value the difference - girls need to learn to be more assertive.

This is a great explanation of what the Curse of the Good Girl is:

Learning from our mistakes and confronting a culture of perfectionism is important for all children.

 I see where this is an important thing as an adult to keep in mind, because working with a lot of women (teaching in elementary is still hugely disproportionately female). Sometimes we are unable to move an agenda forward because of all the bickering and back and forth and drudging up the past.

Know thy self. Still good advice even 2500 years later, and it's important for parents and teachers to be pushing students to be demonstrating mastery or understanding from a place of personal ownership and responsibility... if you figure out how to do that, please help me!

I'm not saying I loved reading that passage, but I did.

Even in second grade I already see this behavior, the I'll just do it all myself and saying that everyone on the team did a good job! I appreciated how the author was able to point out how this impacts us in the work environment later. It does not help us, it hurts us in fact, not only do we not get recognized for all the things we do and the slack we pick up; but the idea that we are trying to make our coworkers and peers all "friends" so we don't hold them accountable! This is some pretty heavy thoughts.

Playing it safe. Not speaking up in class. The delivery of an idea verses the value of the idea itself.  Not being able to own our strengths (feeling that it would be vain, a serious violation of the Good Girl code).

I love this idea of using the zones of comfort to help students take risks. After identifying areas for them to work in, setting those small steps might be the only way to accomplish those goals.

Good advice to mothers...

Finished reference book with highlights and tabs!!