Week 4 Reading Response

via GIPHY

I've got this, I've got this, I don't got this.

This has been a hard week for me, and I think it started last week with the whole iMovie busted bubble. I do want to use more tools from the computer and Internet. I don't want to be that blacksmith who never learns another trade and is put out of business because he doesn't challenge his knowledge about how the world works.

I am a self-educated woman.

And this class is hard for me because I've skirted around computers and learning how to use them my whole life.

Embarrassing.

I'm the fourth kid in a large family and I never got a turn on the Nintendo.

I got a Samsung Galaxy 5 two/three years ago and that was the first time I had a "smart phone".

And look, what I've taught myself is pretty impressive. Marjorie came to me today to connect her FitBit to her phone (Sync!). But we have a problem all the time with people who are dismissive to us because they've had this technology longer. Oh, it's so easy to work. Oh, it's so amazing.

*Rah, rah rah*

But, next time you step out of the bubble of people you have created around you, into a public space. Think about the 4th person from you - they don't have Internet. Period. And we aren't talking about people who have given up internet just to use their cell phone. We are talking about no connection to it at all.

Maybe they go to the library. I mean, could you go anywhere else for free Internet? What if you didn't have a computer you could connect to the Internet with? (Save the libraries!)

Twice in this class I've felt misunderstood. And like last night I was up thinking about it. And I have to say first that I have really struggled with the Twitter network. I just don't understand how I can look at the full conversation with someone so I understand what I'm responding to. Hyphasis is a bit better for me, and I like that you just plug in any web address and you can make comments.

I feel that's a pretty cool program. And balance that with how I can't navigate Twitter. I'm sure if I had someone give me lessons I'd be a wiz at it. But I'm already learning and processing so much as it is, that again I'm throwing that back into the unimportant pile. I just don't care.

But wait. learning it means participating in this course, and because this is a class it's actually urgent.

But who do I delegate that to? Wait?

Does that mean it is Important, but I don't feel it's urgent. (Being a wife and a teacher are the Urgent and Important things, and graduating with a Mater's is a slim part of being a teacher. But Twitter is not as interesting to me as SoundCloud or alternatives to iMovie).

Meaning I will give a set time everyday for this, but it will take time. Discipline.

And that's how I'm trying to teach.

How do you write a lesson plan for that? Which standards did you cover?

I am so busy trying to pour out of my head onto the page what I want this class to look like, sound like, be like. Speak up. Declare my intentions.

That's the real reason to learn writing. To better process your own thoughts and feelings. And share them.

And it takes me longer to express my ideas here in computerland because I have to interrupt flow to go google how to take  screenshot of the Twitter convo so I can share it here as an example - but my phone keeps shutting off when I try to press and hold the down volume and power button at the same time... (*after 20 minutes I gave up trying)

Plus it's been an hour and a half and the "video" is still loading. (*And it never loaded, but then like magic I tried something different and we have that cute dog at the top of the post *remember that's how I'm feeling this week, if you need to go smile and lighten the mood a little)

What I really want to be doing is organizing for my Return to Teaching (dramatic theme music).

Second year, so many mistakes, so many new ideas. And I am passionate about what I do because I'm passionate about understanding the distance between the have and the have nots...

*Here is a spot where I went off trying to find this picture and when I came back my train of thought was much derailed* I'm leaving in all these editing notes because despite what I say I can't help but go back over and reread and tinker with the writing. I want to share meaning. And I need more than 140 characters.*

It took twenty minutes to upload the (17) photos (which is actually pretty good time). I think this is what happened the first time I had a misunderstanding on Hypothis, I tend to bounce around a lot in my thoughts. And it's hard in cyberspace to see the space a conversation takes place in. It's hard to keep track of your conversations and misunderstandings happen.

But that's why I named my blog Unfiltered Learning. I don't have time to edit this. I don't have the time because this class is asking me to do what we are trying to teach students to do, figure it out for themselves. And I see the beauty in this because I see through this lens, is how I learned.

Unable to go to school. 12 years old and illiterate.

A goal that changed my life.

Read one book, every four days, and it has to be at least 100 pages.

It was huge, because when I finally did get to walk into my first class room at Otero Junior College I had already develop some of those skills we as educators/behavior scientiest/developmental experts/ humanitarians are saying we need to help students with.

Perseverence

Grit

Resilience

Are these all the same thing? What makes them different? Do using them together create a stronger meaning?

And how is the experience I am having right now challenge all of those strengths I have?

Oh let me count the ways.

But no more fancy pictures.

This class is so jarring in how it doesn't fit in with the UTCE 5010 class or the Urban Community Teachers program that I started my Master's in. And I don't know if it was suppose to fit in. The list of options presented to my cohort didn't present this class in the same way I am precieving it now. And I think again that Twitter is not a good medium for me to communicate in. My comments yeserday seemed to cause a few misunderstandings and then I struggled to navigate the conversation.

But alas my screenshot didn't work. (Remember I was working on that earlier).

So let me now share with you an observation. This was our Daily Create for class yesterday. And it was pretty straight forward and people really expressed their different creative elements. Mine's rather plan because I've been working on this other Design thing for class that is taking up a lot of time, as all computer work does with me right?

But then I notice something, What3Words talks about it's product.

Here is an ad for What3Words - notice the clever placement of
Fiction, Unless, Pave
?

Mind you, our assignment has nothing to do with What3Words, our assignment is to find "our"three words, Google search those words and use those images to make our JPEG. And it's a good assignment that runs you through the process and you get some hands on experience PhotoShopping and it lets you be creative.

So really the fact that I get so upset by this...

In everyone’s language

We have rolled out our 3 word address system in 9 languages: English, French, Spanish, Portuguese, Swahili, Russian, German, Turkish & Swedish. We are adding to those every month and are currently working on Italian, Greek, Arabic and more.

The 3 word address in one language is not a translation of the 3 words used in a different language version and you can use the language you are most comfortable with.

You can choose the 3 word language that we display 3 word addresses to you in, but you never have to tell us what language you are inputting the 3 word addresses in: we will recognise the language automatically.

Doesn't mean anything to our class, and really I just wanted to know if anyone dig into the cite we were all using for the project.

Because I've been having trouble with our course required readings this week too. You see, when I got back from San Francisco this week I was all jumbled up. There's this blog post I've been working on since Orlando about being gay that I just don't feel is ready to share. But it's important to me and on the 25th I found out a friend's nephew killed himself. He was a teen, gay from Bountiful, UT.

And then I got tripped up some more and again because of this required reading:

PROS

"The similarities with more conventional journal writing are reasonably clear, but yet, to write a blog is a little like displaying a personal journal in a shop window, for friends and passers-by to read at their leisure." Davies and Merchant (2007) 

and

"The presentation of self in a particular way, as showcased through our own blogs, has been a focus of our recent academic work." Davies and Merchant (2007) 

And again I was working on this blog. Now see I know myself pretty well by now, remember why I named the blog Unfiltered Learning. Because I was suppose to take the filter off.  I am suppose to just go with the gut and say to hell with it...

But now I had two posts I was juggling when I lost my motivation to keep going.

Willpower is a finite resource. This
amazing book has really helped me
better prioritize what is important. 

*Now remember children are not this reflective. Reflection must be practiced, it is a skill to learn. One I've practiced a lot with my journals. But I imagine that the way I'm feeling is the same as a sixteen year olds. Other stuff is happening. I struggle with this already.*

Willpower helped me understand that when I used all my energy on things I didn't want to be doing (no matter how "important" they are) I have less energy for the things that really matter to me. This cycle starts to get out of control when to reward yourself for all the things you "have to do" (relaxing with a beer, watching television, playing Call of Duty, etc) leaves you no time for the things you "want to do".

Alot of the books I've been reading and studying try to explain how you can balance the time and prioritize better (my chart above has really helped me). Remember how I said learning how to better use Twitter better became Important (because of school) but not Urgent (to me the student) so I needed to schedule blocks of time for it. You also find out that the 45 minutes of DEXTER aren't as important as actually get your steps in (although I found a way to do both, thank you treadmill).

CONS
"Looking from the Inside Out: Academic Blogging as New Literacy" by Julia Davies and Guy Merchant was published in 2007. Which means when they refer to Riverbend's blog in the present tense it has really been 9 years. Did anyone look up her blog?

I did.

And that's when I got tripped up for the third time and by that time I was doing the What3Words assignment. And I did ask if anyone was looking behind the curtains.

Riverbend and The Survival of Riverbend

When young adults start to see differences in the world and the way they've been told about it, it can cause some resistence. And that's where I'm at. I don't care about using the Internet better if it just produces apathy. Busy work. Cool stuff but no real master, no real craftmanship. I Twitted several articles that kind of spoke to my frustrations.

Study: The More Stuff We Have, The Less Creative We Are via @forbes https://t.co/KQ2hSxQ7u0 #ilt5340

— Bea Elwood (@belwood303) July 3, 2016

Do Today's Tech-Obsessed Teens Have Less Empathy? https://t.co/odb98dvMhe #ilt5340

— Bea Elwood (@belwood303) July 3, 2016

What, Me Care? Young Are Less Empathetic https://t.co/nxN94Wpg5w #science #ilt5340

— Bea Elwood (@belwood303) July 3, 2016

Social Media Is Destroying Quality Human Interaction https://t.co/0si90maDfP via @thoughtcatalog #ilt5340

— Bea Elwood (@belwood303) July 3, 2016

I don't have anything figured out. I have more and more questions. But that's what I need to get back to the classroom. I need to get back to work with my students.

And I need to learn to just say it and move on.

(*now to read everything through one more time)

Getting my Post On...

I have just had a hard time getting on a computer these last few days, but I have been busy, busy, busy.

The thing is that MY GOAL this summer had originally been to organize my lesson plans and piles of papers. And since getting back from San Francisco I've just wanted to "nest" and visit these projects I've been nursing for months.

I realized a moment ago that part of the focus of this class (storytelling and finding meaning) I'm already demonstrating with my journal. 

Which took 9 years to develop. 

Which is part of why I don't like this class. There's not enough focus on experience and mastery. 

I'm not a master. 

And I am enjoying learning how to make memes and gifs and developing my storytelling rapport. Which is why I want to be involved in this class, to learn how to make these things for my lessons - for my students. 

First Donors Choose Project

My first Donor's Choose project is now online. Pass it around, visit the site, maybe even donate a little.

Great Illustrated Classics

I tell my students that when I was their age I had this really embarrassing moment where I realized I was not a very good reader and I decided to do something about it.

I set a goal to read a book every four days and it had to be at least 100 pages long. I read a lot of Nancy Drew and the entire Great Illustrated Classics series.

I want to add those books to my classroom library so students have the opportunity to read and discuss them.

A Very Busy Week

When I got back to the hotel yesterday after the close of the conference I fell asleep sitting up in front of the laptop. I just needed to reset. So much info packed into five days, so much extroverted energy and my little introverted self was done, ready to shut down and restart.

I had originally planned this week to reflect on keeping your goals while traveling but what really became important to me this week was just not giving up.

How frustrating the visual assignment turned out to be. And even though we keep reading about how amazing this free exploration is, and the resources of the computer and internet, my thought was that without some reason to keep trying I would have quit.

And maybe asking for help on the internet is easier for other people, I find it even more frustrating. I just want an actual teacher to sit with me and help guide me. But then I'm an awesome student who comes to class ready to learn and engage (humility not a strong suit I must admit). And I do have some killer grit that made it possible to stay in the game until I at least had something to turn in. 

But again, how many people, after hitting all those road blocks, would have kept going? At what point would they have felt demoralized, blocked, hopeless, or helpless?

I feel I am giving my best effort for this class, I have to balance some very unique things this summer but I am prioritizing my responsibilities so that I am meeting all those obligations. I am having fun, even if I find it frustrating. The truth is that teachers are expected to do for their students things that are not done for them in trainings. I will have some guidelines for kids as to which websites they can explore and play with, but then I will also allow them the freedom of choice like this class has offered too. 


When I get home, I'll have ten days before the next life event gets in the way, and I've got a lot of plans on how awesome I can be ;)

Sylvia Plath's Opening Line

The opening line of The Bell Jar reads it was a hot, sulty summer, the summer they killed the Rosenbergs, and I have no idea what I was doing in New York.

1953 was also the year Eisenhower took office and Charlie Chaplin left the United States, never to return.

I was trying for a napkin brainstorm starting with the idea "Plath" would tell the story about her month in New York that changed her life forever. I also enjoyed finding lots of words to play around with.

I Used to Want to be a Filmmaker

This week's video assignment fell on the same week I needed to travel for work to San Francisco and attend a conference on Responsive Classrooms. It's a five day conference, with nine co-workers. Here, let me make an illustration:

I really wanted to be that person who was on top of their homework before going to a conference where I would be expected to extrovert and critically think.

Sunday I finished the required reading. More inspiring then the previous two weeks but still a bit too "embracing an idea without questioning it" for my taste. I'm not drinking the Kool-Aid here. There is still plenty of research that shows negative effects of social media on society and after this frustrating week I am about ready to break all my computers. But let me focus on telling you the narrative of creating my video.

Sunday I also shot the footage for my video, my dream was to have both the reading and the video finished before the conference so I could just focus on my learning and planning with co-workers, and squeeze in the two Daily Creates as I had time.

Oh, but the fun was just beginning.

I did finish collecting the footage and transferred the data from my phone to the computer. Which turns out DOESN'T have Movie Maker on it. I can't download it either because this is a work computer and I don't have administrative permission to download programs. But the school iPad has iMovie so I try transferring the videos from the computer to the iPad.

But that doesn't work.

So I upload the videos to Google+.

But then I can't get them to download to the iPad.

So I upload the videos to iCloud.

But now I have to go to the airport.

Which does have really good Internet service and I am able to download the videos to iMovie.

Yay.

I edit together the footage and the song.

It looks great.

It will not save.

It will not upload.

It will not export.

I asked the Internet for help.

I asked my friends for help.

I got frustrated and create this video of my video at 4:30 in the morning while sitting in the stair well at the hotel.

But when I go to upload it at 4:30 in the morning, guess what does not work? The Internet at the hotel! Or at least it's not letting me upload the video.

I decide to go to the conference center and try there, but, and I'm not joking here, I ran into an issue connecting my laptop (that I don't have permissions to download or update anything on) to the Internet at the conference center. But I brought the iPad, so I try all over again to get iMovie to work.

Still nothing.

I get back to the hotel and I decide to give YouTube a go even though I can't use my song with it.

But hey, here it is.

And now, I'm going to go meet my team and discuss how we are going to use Responsive Classroom practises in our middle school next year, and specifically how I will use it in my sixth grade classroom. And I'm glad I didn't become a filmmaker because this little video has taken me four days to create and it's still not what I wanted it to be.

But I'm okay with that.

Week 3 Reading Response

Successful goals are the ones we believe we can achieve if given enough time and energy (resources). I was reminded of that this week as I finished up my readings for class.

Align Your Time Management with Your Goals

The Harvard Business Review offered this insightful article on time management and goal setting that I added some notes to in hypothes.is.

We really need a system in place to track our time. Countless books and articles address the myriad of ways we waste, lose or have stolen from us the time to do the things that are really important to us. I felt this article did a good job of supporting some of the other items I have already talked about when it comes to being goal achievers.

The first thing we want to do when we are looking at managing our time better is to see how we are already spending our time. Honest observations. When we fudge a number here or there we are only lying to ourselves. We have to know how we spend our time and for how long we work on a project to honestly see where we can improve.

For me the hardest lesson was when I went back to school to become a teacher. I am such a procrastinator, waiting until right before the assignment is due and rushing to finish. When I actually timed myself doing one of those rushed, last minute assignments I was shocked at how long it had taken me. As I started to allot time everyday leading up to the assignment to work on it I noticed my work was more thoughtful, my anxiety levels were lower and at the end of the week I didn't need as much time.

CRAZY RIGHT! The same work took less actual time to complete (better) when I planned for it. It was an amazing lesson and I still struggle with it.

The second thing the article talked about was using that data to categorize our activities and determine where they feel in terms of importance. I like the below image because it has a limited amount of options (only four categories) and when you get used to using it you get better at identifying in real time the non-urgent, not important time wasters.

In terms of the course readings of Lankshear and Knobel (2007) I think the biggest take away was that there needed to be time for exploration. When I was trying to mash my two songs together I used youtube videos and social media cites to ask friends for help. When we are trying a new pursuit we need to give ourselves extra time to explore, make mistakes, get frustrated, take a break, and come back. That's a lot of emotional commitment and in order to make sure it sticks or we don't get discouraged we need to take baby steps. We also want to create the right balance of struggle with success otherwise we will find ourselves mediocre in two dozen applications and a master of none.

Which leads me to my concluding thought: How do you __________? One step at a time. For a variety of weird personal reasons I like the mantra "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time." because it is true. How do we create a powerful Ted Talk? One slide or notecard at a time. How do we lose weight, one calorie at a time. You see, it really can be used for anything. But as we decide on what it is we would like to spend our time doing we can look at the big picture like the elephant and our priority diagram as the small bites. To make that smash up I needed two songs and a program to mix them together with so those things would have been in my important and urgent box because I can't do anything until I have them.