Sunday, June 12, 2016

Week 2 Reading Response

I think one of the most important things I have been able to do for myself is learn how to appreciate my anxiety. No, I have not found a cure but rather by appreciating it for the primal, alert system it is I have been more successful in using it to help me more and hurt me less.

For example, a class to complete a Master's program. My anxiety leading up to such an event in the past was one marked by procrastination and avoidance. Because anxiety is such an unpleasent thing, I would just not do anything about it. A behavior that in the end made things worse and is one of those self fulfilling prophecies. "We knew we would never be any good at this, why even try?"

Well, I have to say that before this class officially got started I was putting my anxiety to the test by trying to get a start on assignments. A practice that lead me to jumping in the deep end and thrashing about for a bit before feeling like I was getting my rhythm. I felt that by Thursday I had done everything on the checklist even if some of my assignments felt frantic. But hey, it was Thursday.

Which meant I had two, three days to do more work and a better job.

And my anxiety?

Of course still there (did I mention some of the crazy dreams I've been having) but I get more done before noon to help keep it controlled, which in turn means I'm getting more done.

And I think that connects to the Reggie River's Ted Talk I shared. Stop focusing so much on the goals and more on the behavior needed to meet those goals. And it ties in with the required reading because several times this blogging, twitting thing was pretty overwhelming but I just kept reminding myself that this was about me learning to read and write about me. It doesn't have to be a five paragraph essay. My meaning, my context, my expression.

And of course I feel 100% ready for Monday morning when week 2 starts and I need to start it all over again. Looking forward to some feedback so I keep growing and rising to meet the new challenges.

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